there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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