the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize