whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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