I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
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She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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