dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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