Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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