Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
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Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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