they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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