ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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