I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize