There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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