I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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