He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize