I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize