we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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