You work out of a Hotel?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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