Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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