We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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