True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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