Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize