I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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