somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize