shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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