Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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