Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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