Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My balls are so social today.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize