Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize