I accidentally burped into my bong.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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