So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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