I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize