I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize