Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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