its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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