epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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