All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize