Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize