if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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