weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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