"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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