she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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