my phone needs a breathalizer
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize