How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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