I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize