I want to walk on stilts...naked
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize