there's paper in my vomit.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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