Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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