My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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