the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
His nipple licking is glorious
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