My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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