The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize