Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize