I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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